1,2,3,4, I Declare A Prank War!
by CarsCars2Fanatic
Summary: What happens when Sheriff takes Foxy's taunting, and spits it back in her face by way of a prank? This story, of course! XD This happens whenever, and I only own Foxy, along with the ideas. :) It's rated Kplus for Foxy's language, just thought I'd let you guys know. XD


One morning, Sheriff awoke to a box of doughnuts outside his door, with no car in sight. He looked around, trying to find out who owned the doughnuts. When he couldn't figure it out, he sighed, then glanced around furtively before quickly taking the doughnuts inside his office.

Me and Lightning, meanwhile, were getting headaches from laughing so hard. "Wait, wait! Shhh! He's gonna open it!" The two of us instantly fell silent, and I pressed my ear to the brick wall. It wasn't necessary, because not two seconds later, a loud, horrified shout blared out from the building. I instantly dropped to the ground, laughing as hard as was humanly possible. Lightning was deathly close to leaking himself as he fell to the pavement with a clang, laughing as hard as me. We heard Sheriff coming out, but couldn't do anything to stop the shrieks of laughter coming from our direction.

He quickly followed the sound, and found us. As I looked up at him out of watering eyes, I could see that he was royally angry.

"So. The two of ya did this." He growled through tightly gritted teeth, his moustache quivering and bristling with anger.

"Oh, oh, crap… Sheriff's pissed… run…." I whimpered feebly, trying to get up but not succeeding. I resorted to pulling myself away as fast as possible, but Sheriff quickly caught up to the maniacally-laughing human.

He dragged me back to the front of the courthouse, grabbing my pants leg in his jaws, too angry to even bother to use a tire.

I just kept laughing, too far into a hysterical laughing fit to stop anytime soon.

Sheriff let my foot drop on the pavement roughly, giving me a glare that rivaled Sarge's worst. It was then and there that my laughter started to diminish, and quickly.

As he stared me down angrily, I gulped, finding my mouth suddenly very dry. "You're gonna let me rot in the impound for all of eternity, right?"

He didn't respond, just continued giving me a glare that could set fire to a block of ice. I squeaked quietly, and began shrinking away, knowing that I was in for it, bigtime.

Lightning, being the jerk that he was, had sped away when Sheriff had turned away to go after me, so I was left to feel the wrath by myself. Sheriff rolled closer, still giving me a glare. In fact, he rolled so close that my legs went underneath his front bumper. My eyes widened, but he still held the glare.

When his bumper was nearly brushing against me, he whispered something that made me cringe. "You'd better watch it, Foxy. You'd just better watch it." With that, he reversed, and pulled back into his office, kicking the doughnut box that held a dead rat that I had found. He sent it sliding out of the building, and it hit the back of the Stanley statue.

I went over to it, shaking. What had he meant by that? I picked up the box, and carried it back to Flo's still thoroughly shaken.

"Foxy? Did you and Lightning really do that to Sheriff?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer, so instead, I opened the box. the others gasped in horror, and backed away.

"It was just supposed to be a stupid prank! Honestly!" Lightning tried vouching for the two of us, and I just sank down to the ground, beginning to shake. There had been actual malice in his eyes, and I was sure that had I been a car and a guy, he would've gotten into a fight with me, then and there.

"Looks like Sheriff got her good." Doc chuckled, looking over my way.

I just laid down on the pavement, still shaking and curled up into a ball. The others laughed, but I ignored them. What was he going to do? Was he going to give me to the aliens? Was he going to give me to the government so they could experiment on me? Was he going to toss me into the waterfall, at the top, and watch as I fell to my death?

* * *

That night, I was awake for what felt like hours, thinking about how to wage war against every possible outcome of Sheriff's anger. By morning, I was exhausted, but had a course of action for everything he could possibly think of (and some things that were completely impossible).

I managed to haul myself out of the beanbag chair, glancing left and right before creeping outside. Suddenly, a horn honked loudly behind me, scaring me badly enough to jump nearly four feet into the air-straight into the tree. I clung to a thick limb, my arms and legs wrapped around it frantically, shaking and looking like a cat most likely.

I heard loud laughter, then Sheriff pulled around the dome, looking up at me with a wickedly evil grin. "Toldja you'd better watch it, Foxy."

"Sheriff!" I glared at him angrily, then the world began spinning as I hung upside down from the branch. "Ohh, shit… not getting down for a while…" I heard him start laughing again.

"That oughta teach ya a lesson or two." With that, I heard his engine rev, then I heard dirt crunching.

"Sheriff?! Where are you going?! Get me down!"

"See ya around, Foxy."

"Sheriff! C'mon, you know I won't be able to get down by myself!" I squealed frantically, wrapping my arms and legs around the branch tighter, trying not to shake.

I have no idea how long I hung there, looking like some odd opossum before I heard an engine come towards the dome. "Help." I squeaked, and I heard their tires coming closer. "

Foxy?" Oh, thank god it was Doc! "How in the... What're ya doin' up there?"

"I was coming out of the dome, and Sheriff scared me, then he wouldn't get me down!" I whimpered, and Doc chuckled.

"So Sheriff didn't put ya up there?"

"Not directly." I replied, shutting my eyes tightly. To my horror, I heard him start chuckling and beginning to roll away. "Wh-Where are you going?!"

"I sure can't get ya down."

I moaned, but still refused to look down. The sound of his tires faded away, and I fell to quivering again, hoping that I didn't fall. I nearly screamed and let go when something tugged on my tail a few minutes later. "Whoever's down there, knock it off! I'm already freaking out and trying not to die, you're just making it worse!" I squealed shrilly, nearly melding myself to the tree branch.

There was laughter, a lot more laughter then I expected. "Foxy, how'd ya get all the way up there?"

"Sheriff scared me!" I whimpered, and there was another round of laughter. "How am I gonna get down?!"

"Jump."

"Are you insane?! I'll end up killing myself if I try that!" If I hadn't fused with the branch before, it was sure to happen soon.

"Then how about ya just let go?"

"That's even worse!"

"Foxy, you're gonna have to either jump or stay up there forever. We can't do a thing until you decide which it is."

"I-I…" I kept my eyes shut and shook my head.

"**Hey**!"

At the shout, my eyes shot open. There was Sarge, and he looked pretty angry. "Down! Now!"

"But-But-But-"

"No excuses! Do it! Otherwise, the branch is coming down with you!"

In an instant, before I knew what was happening, my arms and legs sprung to their proper places, and I plummeted, to afraid to even scream. As quickly as it had happened, it was over, and I was dangling gently in mid-air by the D-ring on my collar. As I looked around frantically, I didn't realize that I was being lowered to the ground slowly. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I spotted Fillmore, and took off, only to be yanked off my feet, and sent to the dirt.

"Hang on, Foxy. We gotta unhook ya."

I laid there hacking up a lung for a few seconds, then shakily stood up. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Mater, reeling his tow hook back in. "Thanks…" I wheezed, and the others who had gathered around laughed. I scrambled up Fillmore's side and curled up into a ball, putting my hood up. I had already had enough for the day, and I was only outside for about four hours. No matter what, I wasn't coming down. I could be a cat, and never move if I had to. Fillmore started rolling forwards, and I sank a little lower, trying not to fall off. He stopped after a little while, and I guessed that we were at Flo's. I heard metal creaking quietly, then I heard Sheriff and Doc talking quietly.

A few minutes later, someone, I'm guessing Sheriff, started laughing. "Y'all right there Foxy?" I heard him ask, and I could almost _see_ the smug grin on his face.

I just uttered a noise in between a moan and a whimper, and this got him laughing again. I didn't want to function at all after that harrowing experience, and he sure knew it. I might as well have handed him the leash to my collar and become his pet. As it was, I stayed on Fillmore's roof, curled up for the rest of the day. Whether it was against the slight chill in the air that signaled winter's arrival, or to prove that I didn't want to interact with any of the others.

* * *

Fillmore rocked from side to side gently, and I raised my head from where it was hidden behind my crossed arms. "Hmm?"

"Y'all right?" He asked quietly, and I glanced around at the others before nodding uncertainly. Afterwards, I shivered and curled up again, my tail up over my face, keeping it warm. From the dim brightness cloaking the area, I could tell that I had remained in one position for the entire day. The sky was streaked with dull purples, blues, and reds in the glimpse that I had before burying my head behind my arms to prevent my nose from going cold.

I think I fell asleep then, I'm not really sure. When I woke up, if I was ever asleep, the top of the dome loomed above me, dark green, almost the color of the pine trees. I stretched out, then curled back up, still tired yet. I squeaked in surprise as Fillmore began rolling outside, completely not expecting it.

"Sorry, man."

"It's all right." I replied around a yawn.

We got over to Flo's, and today was colder then yesterday. I raised my head up again, my teeth chattering slightly. The others chuckled, and I got comfortable once more.

I remained there for the rest of the day again, encompassed in a little lump of warmth. Since my sweatshirt was huge, I pulled my arms, legs, and head inside of it, and curled up even more, until I was severely squashed. I didn't care, because I was warm. I sighed quietly with satisfaction, and I heard Sheriff chuckling, then saying something, but I was too tired to care. The warmth was making me sleepy, and I slipped into an extremely long nap.

When I awoke, I heard a low voice, and there was something wrapped around me. "Look at that. She must've shrunk, at least a little."

I yawned, then my head popped into the hood on my sweatshirt, and I blinked sleepily. There was laughter, then silvery chrome filled my vision as someone nudged me.

"Have a nice nap, Foxy?"

Too tired to care, I just rubbed my head against the chrome with a purr, and in return got something petting my hair gently. I felt myself being supported by something, then there was something cool and rough underneath me, with something warm against my right side. I snuggled into the warmth after curling up again inside my sweatshirt, then began dozing off again. I felt something being draped across my back, stopping at my left side, and it began running down my back gently. I sighed, and began purring gently.

I was asleep for a while, and never noticed that I was in between Sheriff and Doc. While it was Doc that I was snuggled against, it was Sheriff who had hatched a plan to pull another prank.

The next time I woke up, the sun was setting again. I just barely caught a glimpse of it before something black and chrome filled my vision, coming straight for me. I did what any normal person would do in a situation such as this, and instantly turned into an armadillo inside my sweatshirt. There was laughter, and I poked my head out from underneath my hood cautiously, only to find that same black and chrome, only now it wasn't moving.

"Toldja, Foxy." Sheriff commented smugly, and I laid my ears back.

I had just about had enough. I was going to get Sheriff, once and for all.

* * *

That night, I crept out of Fillmore's, heading for Sheriff's office. I looked around before entering, knowing that he wouldn't be there. I crawled underneath his desk, and began to lay in wait for him. What I was planning to do was extremely childish, and so completely, stupidly simple, but I knew that if I pulled it off correctly, it would work. I had enlisted the help of the children to help me keep Sheriff busy while I completely moved everything around in his office. I knew that he would instantly come after me, but I didn't care. I was going to get him back, once and for all.

Just before I heard him growling about being in a chase all night, and not being able to get any sleep, and I grinned. I had gotten his mattress out the window, and leaning against the back wall. I got out through the same window, then leaned the mattress against the window, to add insult to injury.

That said and done, I booked it off to Fillmore's by the back route, not wanting to get caught again. I crept into the dome, and curled up in my chair, facing away from the doorway. I threw the blanket up over my head, as though I was sleeping. I heard a very angry _something_, most likely Sheriff, coming to the doorway, and he stopped for a minute, as though searching for me. I heard him leave after that, muttering darkly under his breath. I grinned, knowing that it had worked. Satisfied, I snuggled deeper into the chair, and fell asleep once more. I dreamed about the prank, and about how well I had executed it.

When the dream dissipated, I stretched, ready to go unveil my latest trick. I entered Flo's, and was instantly charged at by Sheriff, bubble light flashing. I froze, not wanting him to run me over. He never stopped, just kept coming, so I took off. I could still hear him behind me, so I sped up, hoping to lose him. "Hmm…." I entered Tailfin Pass, and began weaving around the rocks, barely slowing. I scrambled up a ledge, and began listening intently for any trace of Sheriff's engine. I knew where I was, so it wasn't a problem if I stayed here all night. I knew for a fact that Sheriff would never be able to find me, since I was close to the top of a cliff.

Just as I placed a hand on the top ledge to grab onto it and haul myself up, something grabbed my wrist tightly. I gasped, and looked up. My jaw dropped when I saw a maliciously-grinning Sheriff. "Wha-How-Whe-?"

"Didn't think I'd notice the mattress thrown out the window, then propped up against it, did you?"

"Fine, it was me. And you would've learned that sooner if you would've stopped at Flo's instead of charging me." I replied, playing an excellent poker face to avoid him realizing what I didn't want to happen, then doing exactly that.

"This time you've gone too far, Foxy. Nobody, and I mean no BODY, messes with the law."

I couldn't help it, he jut sounded so ridiculous that I burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, I just can't take you seriously, Sheriff."

"Really? I reckon ya better start, Foxy, because you're in a bit of a tight spot. My tire might slip forwards just a bit-" He moved my hand closer to the edge of the ledge, and I felt myself lose my footing. "-and ya might be in a whole mess of trouble."

I remained dangling there, looking up at him expressionlessly, trying not to show him how scared I was. He could do it, I know that he could, and the worst part of it all was that he could make it look like an accident. I could just see the headlines now: 'Human Jumps Off Cliff, Town Sheriff Too Late To Save Her', then under that, 'Depressed human takes the plunge off a tall cliff, ignoring Town Sheriff's attempts at talking her down.'

"Who am I kiddin'? You can get back up by yourself."

To my horror, he let go of my wrist, after shoving it forward a few inches, so that only my fingers were gripping the ledge. "Sheriff, you wouldn't!" I exclaimed shrilly over the wind that was picking up, but he just chuckled.

"That's what you think, Foxy. I've done it before, and I can do it again."

"Who was it last time, a speeder? A burglar? Another human?" My eyes narrowed, and I think that last bit got to him, because he shoved my fingers off the ledge. I screamed in horror, sure that I was going to die.

* * *

I gasped as once more, I was left dangling gently by the steel ring on my collar. I tilted my head back in horror, only to see the front bumper of someone holding a leash in their tire. It was this leash that had saved me from an untimely death, and I was tugged up to the ledge, until I could gain some sort of hand and footholds to pull myself up.

When I was on solid ground, I couldn't believe who it was that had saved me. Parked in front of me, holding the other end of the leash in a tire, was none other then _Sheriff_. It was safe to say, my jaw dropped as I sat down in the dirt.

He was watching me smugly, and as I began babbling out some sort of English, he held up a tire. "_That_ is how a good prank is done, Foxy."

I was speechless, and could only stare at him.

"Ya didn't think I'd _really_ let ya fall, didja?"

I still couldn't answer, since it was a lot to wrap my mind around.

"That's what I thought. Are ya done pullin' pranks?"

I could only nod slightly, and he nudged me up before heading down to the road. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I managed to force out, and he stopped.

"Like what, Foxy?"

I held up the leash in a hand, and he chuckled.

"Nope. Not a thing."

"So let me get this straight. You pull a prank like that, then you're going to stroll back into town with me, ergo, your new 'female dog', on a leash?"

He just gave me a sly grin, and I sighed.

"I'm probably going to regret this someday, but just don't go too fast."

His laughter echoed off the canyon around us as we headed back for town.

**I thought up this idea, since Foxy loves teasing Sheriff so much. I love Sheriff's pranks, they're just so cruel that it's funny. xD I have to say, this is probably one of my more favorite oneshots, simply because of the ending scene. XD Hope you enjoy it, and please don't steal? Thanks, Liz**


End file.
